Full Fat, Full Flavor, Full Health
Something is terribly wrong. Are we the only ones that can see it? Are we the only ones who care? Is anyone going to do something? Let us explain.
When we came back to Canada after a several year hiatus in South America, we made a brief visit to our favorite brew pub with a couple of friends. To our horror, one of them, ordered a low carb beer. What? Was what we were hearing true? Has North American culture gone mad? Perhaps it was still the jet lag? Perhaps our ears still needed to adjust from Spanish back to English? But no, sadly, it was very true. The low fat, low carb propaganda bullet had struck again.
Well, you can imagine our embarrassment, but what could we do? After all, they were our friends. Then we started to realize that were in fact surrounded by infected people. People who were trading their India pale ales and Stouts for low carb beers, and right there on the table in front of us was even a low fat, low carb menu.
In the grocery stores we noticed how real food, (yes, food as nature intended, sorry kids but pizza pops are not real food), had been replaced by food PRODUCTS, many of which came with government approval labels, trying to convince us how healthy they are. Hmm… Funny there were no such labels to be found on the few natural and real foods that we found left in the store, the fruits and vegetables. Something is terribly wrong. Are we the only ones that can see it? Are we the only ones who care? Is anyone going to do something?
Yes, we are going to do something and we want you to join us. It is about time we fight back, stand up for real food, real beer, and good health. But first, we need a motto, so here it is folks, are you ready, brace yourselves it’s going to be a good one: “full fat, full flavor, full health.” There you have it. Catchy isn’t it? You see, what we are going do is to eat REAL food with all the fat and all the flavor, but just eat LESS. (Insert our usual minimalist ranting here…) Self-control is the answer, not all the fat free chocolate cake you can eat.
And while were on the subject, sorry people, but you CAN taste the difference, low fat Fettuccini Alfredo does not taste the same, people just agree with you, because you have so little body fat, they are afraid to rattle your cage. Well, there you have it, that’s our solution to the problem. Repeat after us: full fat, fall flavor, full health. Now don’t you feel better already? Stay original… it’s only natural.
Everyone is a Minimalist: They Just Don’t Know It Yet
Wow, for minimalists we sure make a lot of noise. Search the web and you find all kind of minimalists spouting off about the virtues of “less is more” and how “form follows function.” Why even big corporations are putting out minimalist adds in the big glossy rags.
So why, do you ask, do we need another blog on the subject? Because, we minimalists have nothing left in our houses and have driven off all our friends, so we have nothing else to do but extol the virtues of minimalism. No really, the real reason is because of something profound that happened to us recently.
We were talking to some twenty-something year old friends about minimalist music, art and design. (Actually that’s not really true, we were talking about something completely different, but we always look for ways to change the theme of any conversation to minimalist design.) Then I mentioned something about Andy Warhol. Well, when we saw the blank look of confusion on their faces, we realized that these poor under privileged girls had no idea of whom we were talking about. It was even worse then we initially thought.
We mentioned other names to see if any brain synapses were connecting: The Velvet Underground… nothing, American Music Club… zip, The Feelies… nope, Mies Van Der Rohe, Jennifer Sterling… oh my, this is bad, the Latin Playboys… nada. What do they teach in schools these days? Ok, we could see that we had our work cut out for us. So, how do you go about helping a couple of young impressionable minds to appreciate the virtues of minimalist design?
Hand bags. Yes, you read correctly, handbags and other women’s accessories. You see, I recently stumbled upon the website of designer Marc Jacobs, which is a beautiful presentation of minimalist web design, OK granted, too much Flash (no, not the glittery kind, go ask a computer nerd then come back…) but oh so very clean. (Also, not very functional, but who cares, he’s rich and famous.) We just happened to be at a coffee house in Paraguay called Havanna who have Wi-fi and even a couple Apple Macs (Hmm… do we see a connection forming here..) for customer use. As soon as I brought up the Marc Jacobs website, I could see the blank looks disappear followed by instant recognition, and a lot of shouting: “I love Marc Jacobs, they make such cool hand bags.” Mission accomplished.
The moral of the story is the following: minimalism is best appreciated through the simple things in life. Are not the simplest words the most meaningful and powerful: love, home, family, friends, and iPod. (Just kidding.) The point is: everyone is minimalist at heart; they just don’t know it yet. Perhaps there is too much clutter in their lives for them to see it. You see, that’s why we minimalists have to make so much noise. Stay original… be minimal.
Limited Edition Prints And Fake Rolexes
Hey, here is a great business idea: Let’s make 10,000 posters of a picture, get the artist to sign them, put on an expensive frame, then sell them for $1000 a piece. We’ll be rich! Oops, too late, someone beat us to it.
They call it limited edition posters, err… I mean prints. It’s bad for the art world. It has less to do with art and more to do with rampant commercialism. The frame is usually worth more than the print. But the artist has signed it you say. Sure if the artist becomes world famous and dies some horrible death, it may well have some value, but it is not and never will be original art.
Remember when people were buying all those limited edition wildlife prints, because it was a “good investment.” Hmmm, when did limited edition prints or any art for that matter surface on the New York Stock Exchange? (Maybe that will be the next trick of publishers after they learn to pronounce giclee properly. More on gilcees in the future…) It was however allot of fun listening to people justifying why they paid $1000 for a poster, explaining how it is not really a poster, it’s a “limited edition” copy. Maybe a few prints have increased in value, but most have not, and others are garage sale and flee market specials.
However, all of this is besides the point. Art by nature is original. There is a fine line between selling art (which is good for you and the artist) and commercializing art. (Which is bad for you and the artist.) Please buy art because you like, or rather, because you love it, you can’t stop thinking about it and you can’t get it out of your head.
If you can’t afford original art, then go to Ikea and buy a nice cheery poster print and put it on your wall (no really we mean it!), and if you feel the need, then sure, go ahead and take out the magic marker and sign your name away. Hey why stop there, why not number it 314 of 10,000. And remember, don’t call it a poster, call it a “print”. Stay original… buy original.
Artist’s Statements: Pretentious Words About Nothing
Mark Eitzel from the venerable American Music Club (whose CD jackets by the way contain brilliant art and who many believe is one of the best songwriters of all time) once said he writes “pretentious little songs of quiet self-loathing.” If only all artists could be as honest about their work.
You may have noticed that the underground art project does not have an artist statement. It is not because we could not think of some lofty, pretentious things to say about nothing, or babble about some metaphysical junk, but rather because we feel the whole idea of an artist statement is, well, to be honest, is just down right SILLY. Do you really care what some artist has to say about what his work is about or what it SHOULD be about? Can you not tell these things from simply viewing his work? Why is art so pretentious? Why are artists so pretentious?
Art is completely subjective (unless of course you are an art dealer, then in that case ’subjective’ is a bad word) and is one of the purest forms of expression that eliminates the need for explanations or commentaries. If you like a painting then that’s great, if you don’t then that’s great to. If you can’t decide, then that’s not great, and you should be forced to read endless artists statements until you have an opinion.
If for any other reason you really want to read some poor misguided artist’s pretentious words, the art galleries and the web are full of them (knock yourself out), we however would much rather you listen to Mark Eitzel’s pretentious little songs of quiet self-loathing. After which, you might even be inspired to pick up the brush and start painting. Stay original… not pretentious.
